Monday, 7 February 2011

This is next...

The last fertility blog I said that I was preparing for the next step towards IVF before even waiting for the results of our last attempts. How wrong could I be? That time we hit the jackpot. Yes, I am pregnant! YIPEEEEEE!

The first few weeks were characterised by mild paranoia that  I would miscarry again then I was then overtaken by the most fundamental exhaustion. Morning sickness? Well, constant nausea followed by a full on room spinning queasiness at bed time is a better description. Don't get me wrong, this is not a problem. These are symptoms of a healthy pregnancy, after the wait, I am more aware of my luck to be up the duff than I am concerned about the side effects.

After sharing so much about about the journey towards fertility I all but abandoned blogging. It was too soon to spill the beans with my patchy luck when it came to pregnancies. I was so low on energy, while both over joyed and a little scared - but all I could discuss on twitter was the physical exhaustion.

I also felt quite a fraud as I when wrote the last fertility  blog when I already knew that I was pregnant. But, this is a long and on going journey - and this pregnancy has only just begun. I hope that this can give hope to anyone who has been struggling to conceive - after 4 1/2 years I'm finally pregnant and I am totally over the moon! Thanks for sharing the journey with me. xx

Friday, 4 February 2011

Mommy Dearest

I have written about a few ups and downs I have had with my Mum, she is an amazing woman but she can be a difficult Mother. She has been complaining that she does not see the Pickle but can cancel coming to her Birthday if she is invited to play bridge.

I can be smart and find an invitation she could not refuse. The carrot I dangled to Reading was not her Granddaughter but 'HomeSense' the new T.K.Maxx home store - and it worked. She came!

We had a great browse of HomeSense and she found a cute present for the Pickle - then she even was complimentary about my home, the lunch I prepared and she seemed to enjoy walking the dog. The spell was not lifted. shee ignored the lure of the computer and her emails and even came on the school run with me.

The Pickle was so excited to see Granny, which melted the Mumster's heart. The charm continued - after a quick tea I made myself busy and secretly watched. I am so pleased that I did - the sight will lift me over many dark days. They just sat side by side, Sarita showing her Granny her pictures from her book bag. The were totally absorbed in each other's company, just enjoying the  moment.

As afternoon slipped into the evening, and the spell continued. The details are immaterial, the bridges are being built. For the first time Granny really connected with my new family. Patience and optimism have paid off!

If I can capture some of that magic dust that sprinkled that day, I would like to pass it on to you. Families can be great, they can be difficult but sometimes with luck, patience and some of this magic dust, I hope that you too can have your own happy ever afters, even if you have had a rocky start.

Granny is back on side, if I feel strong enough, I may write about one more relationship that seems immune to my best efforts. But, if we have got Granny to relax into toddler time, anything is feasible!