Thursday, 31 January 2013


Up to mischief under the food table at a party

There are many forms of loneliness. The worst kind of loneliness is that feeling when you are surrounded by people. That feeling of being present but invisible and out of touch with the nuances of what is being said, feeling in need of an interpreter despite understanding the individual words.

Do you know the feeling: being in a room, which seems to be filled to capacity with just the two others you stumbled upon? They are on a wave length, try as you might you just can't tune into their space. I get that feeling and I grin from ear to ear! I have an amazing relationship with my children, but I think it is great that they can go to a zone where no adult can join them without breaking the spell. Whether the Pickle is teaching DB a craft activity (yes, it is messy) or they are dashing in and out of the shower like demented penguins, it is great to see that bond grow.

As for loneliness, this can be pretty much banished. To know that you really belong, to feel unconditional love is a security blanket that can stretch across continents. It took a while for me to develop my own bonds, but I have a handful of friends, my cottage family and, big sigh - finally, my Mum who I can count on; not to rush to my side, but simply for me to know they are there so that I can find my own strength to overcome any obstacle.

I was going to end it there, but then I saw a pic of me and Lydia Swan. Ms Swan was the first friend I made when released from the straight jacket of school. We had assumed we would always be the proverbial round pegs in square holes, then we met and our idiosynacies became admirable talents and we never looked back.

One evening we were visiting the Gorgeous Ms D and we were talking long into the night, so we bedded down for the longhaul. Just as Ms D wondered if we had an 'off' setting we drifted off to sleep mid sentance. Her sigh of relief was quickly replaced my a squeak of stunned exasperation, to a beat we started to snore at one another. This continued all night long. The next morning we simply yawned and continued where we had left off the night before, so Ms D firmly kicked us out and finally got some sleep. That has to be a very special kind of a bond!

Nostalgic photos. Ms Swan and I almost being thrown out of a bar and later in the bathroom trying to survive a hangover. Remember photobooths? Snaps in the photobooth used to be proof that you were best mates before camera phones! Ten years on and you can see us visibly aging at one of the dinners at a cottage before my 30th Birthday, joined by boyfriend and the talented Miss Fit. All three ladies are now Godparents and the boyfriends now husbands.

I feel a little guilty about not mentioning my first 'marriage' to DIY Janet - but that will have to wait for another day.

This was written inspired by a prompt from The Gallery. Click on the badge to the right and enjoy the other posts.

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