The headlines are awash with Gina Ford's latest dictates as she promotes her new book. I am ill informed on this book, I read her first one five years ago and decided not to follow her advice and will not be rushing out to buy this. Any comments are highly prejudiced particularly as the new book is based on comments from real Mums that is all I know about it besides the media spin.
The headline shock is that we should not neglect our husbands. I just can't shake the image of the time table attached to the fridge!:
7.30 change baby
7.36 express exactly 5ml milk (proof that she hates mums)
7.45 eat two slices of toast - did I mention the chocolate philadelphia you lard arse?
7.52 attend to husband's carnal desires
When the Hubster had been away on business and I tasted life as a single mum I almost crumbled. Single mums deserve medals and to be offered flowers and chocolates form random well wishers just for holding it together!
The Hubster is great but every relationship is different. After twelve hours of a colicky baby I think I would decapitate a spouse who forgot the first rule of parenting that 'mother knows best' in favour of some gem that he read in the baby manual or worse heard third hand from someone at work (fortunately I never got that). Motherhood can be desperately repetitive - I love it and seeing the bean evolve - but by the fifth nappy of the day I do get a sense of deja-vu. The antidote has to be selective adult companionship. There are a few options: the obvious one is fellow mums, an hour long conversation about the relative merits of different nappies will not necessarily push the boundaries of your friendship but in a few years time you may regret putting all your eggs in that basket when you finally realise that you have nothing in common apart from the age of your children.
I find myself agreeing with the hallowed Gina, some of the best times have been with the Hubster. Enjoying stolen moments for a pub lunch when the bean sleeps beside us or giggling at his latest silly face (loads of photos to embarrass him on his landmark birthdays) or even that moment at the end of the day when the munchkins are asleep and you can just look at their (now) angelic faces and feel supremely content and at one with your family. Our relationship works based on things that brought us together many years ago and has been strengthen by years on fun and shared experiences - but we don't need or want Gina to write a time table for us to remember that.